


Of All The Stars

by lhknox



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: ... that'll make more sense when you read it, Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Gay Panic, Gay Yoda, Literature, Romance, Sappho - Freeform, its cute i promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-17
Updated: 2017-01-17
Packaged: 2018-09-18 03:24:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9365807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lhknox/pseuds/lhknox
Summary: “If you’re really serious about dating girls, I find that being able to quote Sappho separates you from the rest of the pack.”or,The College AU where Alex seeks help from the girl in the library who only reads gay authors.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is (you guessed it) unbeta'd.
> 
> Also it's completely silly and cute so I hope you enjoy something a bit light hearted.

There is a girl in Alex’s bed.

 

There is a  _ girl  _ in Alex’s  _ bed _ .

  
The girl is naked, and so is Alex.

 

And Alex is really fucking panicking.

 

Panicking because Alex isn’t gay. She’s not. There’s no way she’s gay, because that’s not part of the plan. The plan is to become a well regarded doctor, marry a nice man who is equally well regarded, and have a small family who’ll follow in her footsteps. The plan is clear cut and straightforward and very easy to follow.

 

Nowhere in the plan is there mention of sleeping with the cute blonde girl from her Microbiology class.

 

She manages to get out of bed without waking the blonde, slipping on jeans and a tshirt and escaping the room without a second glance. She would be lying if she said she can’t remember last night, because she wasn’t that drunk and she can recall every single moment like she’s fucking Rain Man or something.

 

She remembers everything, every touch, every time her body rolled with pleasure. She remembers feeling something click, like the entire universe had opened up, like the last puzzle piece of her life had finally fallen into place.

 

Alex really needs to talk everything over with someone. She can’t go to Kara; her baby sister isn’t equipped to handle something of this magnitude at the moment. She can’t really go to anybody she knows, because Alex doesn’t really know what this means yet. She needs to find somebody with experience, someone who she knows is… is…  _ gay  _ and can help her through whatever’s happening.

 

And Alex can only think of one person.

 

There’s a girl she’s seen in the library, every day for the past few months. She sits one table over from Alex’s usual spot. She’s never opened a textbook there (which Alex finds horrifying), rather she’s always reading something different. Alex spends more time than necessary covertly staring at the girl, watching the way she concentrates on the page, the small smile she gets every so often. Her favorite is the rare few times she’s laughed out loud. There’s just something about her, her demeanour, her presence that makes Alex feel comfortable, something that draws Alex in in a way she can’t describe. And Alex just kind of knows she’s gay.

 

So in a blind panic on a Saturday morning, she rushes to the library, praying for a glimpse of the girl she’s seeking.

 

And by some miracle or sheer dumb luck or something, there she sits at her table by the window.

 

And she’s reading Sappho.

 

_ Sappho _ , for Christ’s sake.

 

Alex flops down in the chair across from the girl. She’s pretty, there’s no denying it. Her dark hair hung over her shoulders, curly and full. Her cheeks were dimpled even without the presence of a smile, and her eyes held a brightness that catches Alex off guard for the slightest of moments. She’s caught in a halo of morning light, making the simple t-shirt and jeans combo she’s rocking more radiant than it should be. She’s more than pretty, she’s beautiful. And the thought alone makes Alex blush.

 

“Can I help you?” she asks, bemused. She doesn’t even bother closing her book, as though she expects Alex’s interruption to be a short one. Alex stares at her, trying to figure out how she should word her thoughts.

 

Alex’s brain, to her distinct horror, decides to just blurt out the issue.

 

“I had sex with a girl,” she yelps, covering her mouth as soon as the words escape. The girl closes her book this time.

 

“Okay?”

 

“And I-I don’t know what that means. I don’t know what I feel or-or if I’m… if I’m…” The girl leans forward minutely across the table, tilting her head slightly.

 

“If you’re gay?” she finishes. Alex barely manages a nod in response. 

 

“Well this must be hard for you. If you’ve never thought about your sexuality and then this happened. And it’s not like it’s just a fling because it just felt so natural, right?” Alex is nodding furiously now. “Can I ask you something?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Why are you telling  _ me _ this?”

 

“I- I see you reading,” Alex confesses.

 

“And reading is a lesbian trait?”

 

“You read Gertrude Stein. And Judith Butler, and Radclyffe, and Virginia Woolf, and Alice Walker, and Kate Tempest, and like, you’re reading Sappho right now. That’s all really gay.” The girl looks down to the book in her hands and lets out a small laugh.

 

“They could be for school.”

 

“You’re never taking notes,” Alex counters, folding her arms across her chest as a sign of a checkmate. Maggie raises an eyebrow, a smirk playing on her lips.

 

“ _ Some say an army of horsemen, or infantry, A fleet of ships is the fairest thing On the face of the black earth, but I say It’s what one loves, _ ” the girl says, her eyes remaining steadfast on Alex’s.

 

“... What?”

 

“If you’re really serious about dating girls, I find that being able to quote Sappho separates you from the rest of the pack.”

 

“So I was right?” Alex says with a small frown, not sure if she’s following the conversation.

 

“Yeah,” the girl says, “it seems my books and I have a lot in common.” She sticks out a hand for Alex to shake. “Maggie Sawyer. Literature major with a minor in history.”

 

“Alex Danvers,” Alex replies, shaking her hand, “Engineering major with a minor in bio.” There’s something familiar about the feel of Maggie’s hand in Alex’s, something comforting about the way she can’t seem to tear her eyes away. Alex isn’t religious in the slightest (in the choice between her father’s Christian roots and her mother’s Jewish upbringing, Alex opted for neither), but something shifts, and she can only explain as being celestial. She can’t help but think maybe their souls are connected, that maybe she’s lived a life with Maggie before.

 

“So,” Alex says, “do you mind talking with me for a bit?”

 

“Why do I feel like you won’t let me say no?”

 

///

 

“I need more gay friends,” Alex huffs as she takes her usual seat by Maggie. Maggie doesn’t even look up from her book.

 

“Am I not good enough for you anymore, Danvers?” she asks in a bored voice.

 

“No, I just… I have friends who love science, and we talk about science together, y’know? My engineering friends and I talk about engineering. I don’t have friends-”

 

“Who love vagina?” Maggie smirks as Alex blushes at her bluntness.

 

“No. I just need to have more people in my life who know what it’s like to be, to be-” Alex sighs. It’s been three months since she first approached Maggie, and the girl had been a wonderful (though sometimes reluctant) form of support for her.She’s helped Alex come to the realisation that yes, she likes girls, but saying those words out loud? The thought alone is terrifying.

 

Maggie sighs and shuts her book.

 

“I think you need to tell your sister,” Maggie says, and Alex’s eyes widen in shock.

 

“What? No. No, no. I’m not ready for that.”

 

“Look, I agree you need some queer friends because they understand your experiences and can validate your feelings more than anybody else. But you need someone you can open up to properly, and the only person you’re able to that with is Kara.”

 

“That’s not true,” Alex defends, and Maggie just raises a single eyebrow before opening her book again. “Okay, maybe it’s a little true. But I can’t tell Kara.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“Because… because telling Kara breaks whatever little bubble I’ve built here for myself. Telling her makes it official and that’s really fucking scary. Like, like maybe it’s just a phase.”

 

“No, Alex,” Maggie says, reaching across the table and taking her hand. “It’s real. You’re real. And you deserve to have a real, full, happy life. Tell Kara. This is the biggest thing that’s ever happened to you, and you shouldn’t have to do it alone.”

 

“I have you,” Alex replies with a small smile. Her stomach flips when Maggie returns the smile, full and bright, dimples and all.

 

“Yeah, you do.”

 

“Thank you, by the way,” Alex says, “For being so cool with this. For being a good friend.”

 

“Believe me, Danvers. This is one thing you don’t have to thank me for.”

 

“Really, though. You’re like, my gay Yoda or something.”

 

Maggie loses it, throwing her head back and roaring with laughter. Tears stream down her face, she gasps for breath and slaps her knee, all the while Alex slinks down in her chair, avoiding the glares of the other library-goers.

 

Later that night, she sees that Maggie has changed her Twitter handle.

 

She’s now known as Gay Yoda.

 

///

 

Alex is waiting for her early, outside the library doors. A smile settles on her face, and she embraces the warm feeling in her stomach as she sees Maggie approach. Alex offers her one of the coffees.

 

“What’s the special occasion, Danvers?” Maggie asks, accepting the coffee and taking a sip.

 

“I did it,” Alex beams, “I came out to Kara.” 

 

“Oh my god, Alex that’s so great!” Maggie says, hugging her. “Come on, we’ll go get breakfast; it’s on me.” Maggie goes to walk away, but Alex pulls her back in, kissing her with as much feeling as she can muster. Maggie’s lips on hers feels good, it feels right. 

 

Which is why Alex is confused when Maggie pulls away.

 

“Alex….” Maggie says, and Alex’s heart sinks.

 

“I thought-”

 

“It’s just, you’re brand new and confused, and these types of relationships generally don’t last very long.”

 

Alex feels embarrassment and shame wash over her, mixed in with a healthy dose of heartbreak.

 

“I’ll see you around, Maggie,” Alex says, letting the bitterness she feels seep into her tone. 

 

She only lets herself break down when she’s back in her room and alone.

 

///

 

Kara visits for three weekends in a row.

 

It’s the first time in Alex’s life that her sister’s presence doesn’t make her feel better.

 

///

 

She doesn’t know why she agreed to come to the party. Wait, that’s a lie. She’d agreed to come with the cute blonde from Microbiology, Stella. The girl was cute enough (and the sex was pretty fantastic) but there was still something. If Alex was being honest with herself, it was the fact that Stella just isn’t Maggie. But Maggie had made her feelings perfectly known, and Alex isn’t one to pine.

So she just chose a new library table, and studied hard and kept her mind off of the emptiness that she felt lying just beneath the surface. And tonight she decided to go to a party with the girl she’s casually seeing.

Which is fine, until a certain someone turns up.

But Alex is an adult and Alex doesn’t pine or whatever, so she ignores Maggie and focuses on Stella instead.

Which is a lot easier said than done when you’ve got fiery dark eyes following your every move, when you feel the weight of Maggie’s glare every time Stella puts her arm around you or kisses your cheek. It’s impossible to breathe under the constant monitoring, the anger in her stare.

So when she sees an opening she takes it. When Maggie goes to the restroom, Alex pushes her way in behind her.

“What the fuck?” Maggie yelps, whirling around, her expression hardening when she sees Alex. “Oh. Danvers.”

“Maggie—“

“Where’s your girlfriend, Danvers? Gonna parade her around in here as well? Rub it in my face a little more?” Alex laughs incredulously.

“Rub it in your face??”

“Don’t act like you don’t know what you’re doing.”

“You’re gonna have to make this crystal clear, because I was enjoying a nice date before you showed up and started staring at us like we murdered your family.”

“I just…. Seeing you with her, it makes me so angry.”

“Stop acting like you own me. I don’t owe you anything, Maggie.” Alex spits. Maggie stares at her like Alex has slapped her.

“You’re the one who came to me, Alex! You kissed me!”

“And you turned me down!”

“Not because I wanted to!”

 

“That makes no sense!” Alex almost yells, “You knew how I felt and you told me it couldn’t happen.” Maggie is quiet, finally no comeback on her tongue. Alex can see her jaw click, she can see her hands ball into fists. And she’s finally ready for a fucking answer.

“Why, Maggie?” She demands. “Why did you say no?” Still no reply. “Why??”

“Because I was scared!” Maggie finally yells, and Alex shrinks back, surprised at the admission.

“You were scared?” Alex asks, softer this time. Maggie nods, refusing to meet Alex’s eyes. “But... you’re you.” Maggie deliberates for a moment.

“I’m no good at this, at, at being in a relationship. I’m self centred and obsessed with my grades and… I’m just no good, Alex.” Alex scoffs at the admission.

“You’re no good? According to who, that bitch you dated for a hot minute a couple months back?” Maggie nods again, wiping the tears that form. “She is so full of shit. Maggie, you are thoughtful and intelligent and funny, and so so beautiful.”

“But… what if you like me because I’m the only option you’ve got?”

“Maggie, I have been enamoured with you since the moment I saw you in the library reading  _ Orlando _ . It was long before I had my first gay panic.”

Alex cups Maggie’s face with her hands, tucking a strand of dark hair behind her ear and making sure they maintain eye contact.

“Nobody around here makes me feel the way you do,” Alex whispers, and before she realises what’s happening, her and Maggie are kissing again, a tangle of longing and breaths and a yearning to be understood. The kiss is more urgent than their last, as though both of them are trying to convey their every feeling for the other. Electricity runs through them both, hearts on fire and lungs exploding, trying to hold on to the feeling that the kiss ignites.

 

The feeling that everything is as it should be.

 

Finally they break apart, panting for breath, unsure of where they stand. Alex leans forward, resting her forehead on Maggie’s, breathing in the girl who makes her heart pound wildly.

 

“ _ Of all the stars, the loveliest _ ,” Alex whispers, and Maggie pulls away so she can look at Alex properly, tilting her head to one side. Alex laughs. “You’re not the only one who can quote Sappho, you know.”

 

“ _ And you are all of the perfection That this flawed life needs _ ,” Maggie whispers in reply.

 

“Sappho?” Alex asks

 

“Sawyer,” she admits with a wink. Alex leans in and kisses her again, quick and chaste, their hands intertwined between them.

 

“Hey Alex?” Maggie asks, her voice soft.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“I’m really glad you chose me to be your Gay Yoda.”

 

“Shut up.”

**Author's Note:**

> As always, drop me a line over on tumblr at murdershegoat. I seriously love talking with you all! Feel free to send me absolutely anything (prompts are always welcome).
> 
> ttfn


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